Now or Never
by Rasiaa
Summary: It takes maybe two minutes before she opens the door again. Her make-up isn't done, but she brushed her hair, and it lies smooth and shiny on her shoulders. He wants to run his fingers through it and find out if it really is as soft as it looks.


He's been in love with her for a year, and Albus is the only one who knows.

He leans back and stares at the clouds, his Gryffindor scarf as a pillow. There's a light breeze, but the clouds are white, and the sky is clearly seen around them, so no rain. He's not sure if he relieved or disappointed by that.

"Hey," a voice says, and she slams herself into the ground next to him. Her blonde hair gets in his face, and he brushes it away absently.

"Hey, Vic," he replies. He can see a cat in the clouds, and he grins to himself.

There's silence for many long minutes. It occurs to him, suddenly, that something must be wrong. He looks at her, and finds himself meeting her light blue eyes. She grins. "Since when do you watch the clouds?" she asks. He snorts and looks up.

"Every time you're at practice," he says.

"Seems boring to me," she replies, looking back up. "I thought you did homework."

"Naw," he says. "I do that when I'm supposed to be asleep."

"And you get perfect marks. It isn't fair."

"Life isn't fair, hon," he says.

A pause. "I think I see a dragon," she says, and points. He follows her finger and smiles.

…

"Dude. Your pining is getting old," Albus says, and, damn, he is mouthy for an eleven-year-old.

"Shut up, Al. You try telling The Victoire that she's the light and sun of the earth, the only heaven worth a damn," he mutters, irrationally angry. Albus isn't phased. He pops his cherry lollipop into his mouth and raises his eyebrows.

He glares back. "Now or never, dude," Albus advises, and he looks back at Victoire and it takes him a long minute to realize what he's seeing.

Some other guy has her. He's tall, and blond, and has pretty blue eyes, and he feels like the breath has been taken from him forcefully as pretty boy leans over and kisses her.

"Looks like never," he says resentfully, and stalks off. Albus stares after him, green eyes revealing nothing.

…

He tries not to let her new boyfriend get in the way of things. He tries so hard, and he guesses he succeeds, because she never suspects a thing.

Xavier is his name, and he's… really nice. He's calm, and seems perfectly content to listen to her go on for hours. He stares at her like she's the sun and the moon and, unlike with him, she notices this boy. He makes her blush when he tells her she's beautiful, and it starts to build resentment.

Xavier is basically his twin. It makes him so, so angry.

But then she smiles at him, and she says, "Hey, Teddy," like nothing's wrong, and he can't be mad at her for being blind. It isn't her fault that Xavier stepped forward, and it's not like he can blame the guy, either, because she's the prettiest girl in school, and even her sister pales in comparison.

He's walking out of Charms when he catches sight of them again. They're leaning on the wall, and Victoire jumps up as soon as she sees him. "Hey, Teddy!" she calls, and he smiles at her, strained. She falters. "Are you okay?"

"Peachy," he says, and stops in front of them, clutching his book bag because it's the only thing keeping him together right now. His heart is racing, and he kind of feels like crying, but he doesn't because that would be humiliating. He has a free period after this though and the bathrooms aren't far.

He feels pathetic.

"I- okay," Victoire says, uncertain. "Are we still going to Hogsmeade this weekend?"

Are they?

"Of course," he says instead, then nods to Xavier. "Not going with Xavier, then?"

"I'm going to buy some gifts for my mother, since her birthday is next week, and then my friend desperately needs my help with something probably stupid," Xavier says, and he doesn't know whether to be amused or slightly pissed. He isn't supposed to be funny. It makes him more likeable, and he doesn't want to like the guy.

"Okay," he says, and looks at Victoire. She's staring at Xavier, and the look on her face makes him feel sick. She looks so love-struck.

"You're just a doll, taking care of your mother like that," she says. Xavier smiles at her with an amused tick of his eyebrow.

"Thanks?"

She kisses him and then the bell rings. Xavier swears. "I've got Potions next, Slughorn's gonna kill me! See you, babe!" he yells as he takes off running. He stares after him, remembering last year when his ex-boyfriend was the same way. Always late, always running… Then he shakes those memories away because he doesn't want to think of that toxic relationship.

"Bye, Teddy," Victoire says, wandering over to the Charms classroom. He waves at her, staring wistfully at the door. He grits his teeth and turns away.

The broom closet is closer to the bathrooms. He slips inside and his bag clatters to the floor. He sits on the up-side down bucket and buries his face in his hands.

…

"I told you so," Albus says, and he jumps. He looks up from his arithmancy book, glaring at his adoptive brother, who takes that as his cue to slide into the chair across from him.

"Don't you have something better to be doing?" he mutters, looking back down. He sees the words and takes a few notes on his notebook but he doesn't absorb any of it.

"Like what? My one friend is currently in class," Albus says. He twirls an unopened lollipop between his fingers. "Anyway, I told you, "Now or never,"" he repeats.

"Give it a rest already, Al. I know I lost my chance," he replies, tired and bitter.

The Slytherin eyes him quietly and leans back in his chair. "Try changing," he says, after several long minutes of silence. He looks up at his wayward relative in curiosity.

"What do you mean?" he enquires.

Albus gestures at him with his lollipop, now opened. Cherry again. "You're a metamorphagus, and you never change your looks. You stick with the same dark hair and brown eyes like Mum and Dad, but the truth is you can look however you want. So change."

He blinks, having never really noticed that before.

Albus smirks.

…

He runs his hand through his hair. The dark locks vanish under a florescent hot pink, and he blinks away the brown for the light gold his father had. He lengthens his hair and pulls it up with his fingers, grinning at the spiky front strands.

He feels at home, like this. He pulls away from the mirror and grabs his bag, walking out of his dorm and into the common room.

He ignores the staring and goes to breakfast.

…

Xavier was a recent addition to their lunch table.

He usually arrives before Victoire's new boyfriend and Victoire herself. The blonde slams herself in front of him, dropping her bag on the table with a clatter. The dishes don't take well to this and he casually moves the gold-plated dinnerware out of harm's way as he chews on chicken and reads through his lab partner's essay on love potions. It's a painful process.

"What have you done, Teddy?" she screeches, and Xavier winces as he sits down. "Pink? Seriously?"

He looks up. She looks distressed by this new development, and in any other given situation he would be inclined to bow to her wishes and change back, but he looks at Xavier and the way he's holding her hand, the bright red hickey on her throat and he thins his lips. "Yeah, seriously. I like it," he says. "Felt like it was about time I used my mother's gifts."

He picks up his bag and his partner's essay, still unable to look at her properly as he stands. What comes out of his mouth next shocks everyone within earshot. "I'm not feeling so hot. I think I'll skip Hogsmeade tomorrow."

He doesn't look back.

…

Albus is with Scorpius when he next decides to bother him.

This time the kid assaults him when he's leaving potions, his Malfoy friend hanging back, clutching the strap of his bag with a look of trepidation on his face. "I like it," he says.

"Good grief, Al," he says, tired. "Go bother James for once."

Albus wrinkles his nose and Scorpius winces. "James is a jerk. He makes fun of me."

He files that away to address later, fully intending to give his oldest younger brother a new one for that behavior. Still. "All the more reason to aggravate him. He deserves to be annoyed."

"No thanks," Scorpius says, and Albus nods his agreement.

"Anyway. Has Vic dumped the new boy-toy yet?" Albus asks.

He wonders when the kid learned that kind of slang. Then he thinks about how Dominique is also in Slytherin and promptly realizes exactly how he learned it.

"No. I don't think she's going to, either, now quit it," he says, once again bitter, and he thinks about how, lately, Albus brings out the worst feelings in him and he wishes the kid wasn't put in Slytherin because he wasn't always this much of a pain.

He grips his bag and shoves his potions book inside, then starts walking to the stairs. "Make her realize she's lost something with him!" Albus calls.

He doesn't want to think about that.

…

He follows the advice anyway. It isn't exactly willing, but he just stops seeking her out, and it turns out that avoiding her isn't all that hard.

She has never really sought him out, he realizes, staring at the ceiling above his bed. Not really.

Weeks ago, they sat under the clouds and found the pictures hidden within. That seems like such a long time ago now.

…

It takes Victoire two weeks before she corners him in the common room. "What the hell, Teddy?" she shouts, and attracts the attention of the whole room. She scowls at the rest of the teenagers, but because they're teenagers, they are unrepentant and continue staring. She drags him up to the boy's dorm and slams the door to his room shut behind her.

"What the hell?" she repeats. "I haven't spoken to you properly in weeks, and I can't find you anywhere, and you haven't told me your schedule for this year so I can't corner you after your classes, and you changed your hair and your eyes, and now I see that you've got ribbons on your bag like some kind of punk kid, and what the fuck, Teddy? What is going on?"

She runs out of breath by the end of it, and sucks in a huge amount of air. There are tears in her eyes, he notes with some alarm. He opens his mouth but she cuts him off. "I hope you don't have another toxic boyfriend," she says scornfully, "because I will kick his ass for taking you away from your friends."

He snorts in derision. "I'm single, thank you," he scoffs. "I just needed time to figure myself out, that's all. What gave you the idea that I had another boyfriend, anyway? Why couldn't I have a toxic girlfriend?"

Victoire narrows her eyes. "Because you're gay?" she asks, and he snorts at that, too.

"Hardly," he scoffs. "I'm in love with you, aren't I?" he demands, and then slams his hand over his mouth. He feels the tears coming as she freezes, her face unreadable.

He moves first, and shoves her out the door. "Don't talk to me," he says, bitter fury staining his voice, and he hates himself because the tears spill from her eyes. "Don't talk to me," he repeats, and slams the door in her face.

…

He doesn't talk to Victoire again until Christmas, three months later.

He is walking through the Burrow, trying to get to the cookies downstairs, when he hears it. Crying. Immediate alarm flows through him- as the oldest, he's practically trained to respond to his siblings and cousins' distressed sounds like a moth to light. He redirects himself to the sound and finds Victoire in the arms of her mother, sobbing.

His heart clenches, his throat closes and he feels like he's going to pass out. He hopes nothing bad has happened. His understanding of French is rocky at best, but he still can make out a few things.

What he hears breaks his heart all over again.

…

Fleur corners him later, in his room. "Teddy?" she asks, knocking gently on the door. He looks up and sets aside his book, a cold wash of dread flowing through his body.

"Victoire say zat you and her have problems, no?" she asks, sitting on the edge of the bed. He shrugs and she sighs. "I am not mad," she reassures, and places her hand on his knee. He meets her eyes. "You are just as hurt as she, yes?"

"Yes," he whispers. Then he explodes. He hasn't had anyone to talk to in months other than Albus, who, while great at being an irritating little brother, isn't exactly good for much more than that yet. He's only a little kid, still.

"I hate her boyfriend, and it isn't even rational because he's great, really- but he got Vic first, and I hate him more because he is exactly like me, basically, and I just keep thinking that maybe- maybe, if I weren't such a coward or if she could just- just see, what she had, then, maybe, we could have been happy, you know, together, but she obviously didn't want that because when I let slip that I love her, she just stood there and then cried, and- and, what was I supposed to do? Stand there and let her reject me because she had Xavier? Hell no. So I just told her to leave, and not to talk to me, but I never meant for this to last this long, Aunt Fleur, I swear, I just wanted… I wanted her to know what she had, and that is wrong, and cruel, and abusive, I know that now, but it's not like I can go back to her because how can I face her now? It- she's just better off-"

Fleur sits there, patient and quiet, and when he runs out of steam, he just lets her collect him and he cries into her shoulder. "I'm sorry," he whispers. "I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt her."

"I know zat, Teddy," she says, and pushes him back gently. "Zo, I am glad zat you realize you hurt her. And zat you know what you did was wrong. It means you can fix zis," she says.

He swallows heavily and presses his palm to his stinging eye. "How? How can I face her?"

"How about wiz an apology? She misses you, Teddy, and you are miserable without her, or so Albus tells me," she replies, smiling gently. She runs a hand through his pink hair and cradles his face. "You have been a part of my family for fifteen years, Teddy, and I do not want to lose you anymore zan she does."

She stands, then kisses both of his cheeks twice. He kisses her back, and smiles, sad and still hurt, but a little relieved. Not everything was lost.

It was now or never.

…

He knocks and then he considers running. But the door swings open before he can, and there she is, make-up half-done, hair a mess, and he feels sick with shame and love for her, for how she looks beautiful even when she clearly doesn't think the same.

"Ah- dammit, Teddy, hold on-" she slams the door. He blinks dubiously at it and takes a deep breath, settling on the rail behind him.

It takes maybe two minutes before she opens the door again. Her make-up isn't done, but she brushed her hair, and it lies smooth and shiny on her shoulders. He wants to run his fingers through it and find out if it really is as soft as it looks. "Come in," she says. He stands and follows her inside. She shuts the door behind him, and sits on the bench of her boudoir. "Well? What do you want?" she demands, not facing him as he stands just barely in the room.

"I'm sorry," he says. "Nothing can ever make up for how I treated you, but I hope-"

"You're sorry?" she repeats, and turns. She has a make-up brush in her hand, and she looks floored. "Good god, Teddy," she mutters. "You have nothing to be sorry for."

"I- what?"

"I'm the one that should apologize to you. I made you feel unwanted, and I guess I kept stringing you along, and then to get with Xavier and flaunt it in your face- I was a bit of a bitch."

He's the one who's floored, now. "Um. What?"

She smiles. "I guess, moral of this story, is that we're a pair of idiots."

That, he can agree with. "I guess," he agrees. "I'm sorry," he adds, just to be sure.

"Quit saying that," she snaps. Then she grins. "Good news, Teddy," she says then.

"What?"

"I broke up with Xavier last week," she says, and stands. "Apparently I just wasn't into him anymore and I was obviously in love with someone else and he couldn't stand my pining- so he dumped me."

She steps into his space and he swallows, heart beating a mile a minute. He barely lets himself hope. "So," she says, and presses herself against him, and his hands go to her waist automatically. She smiles. "How about we make up for lost time?" she whispers, and kisses him.

It was now or never, anyway. He kisses back and thinks, wildly, that he must be dreaming. But then she bites his lip and it's clear that it's real.

He got her.


End file.
